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Wollaton 2nd XI v Attenborough at The Strand

Saturday 27 June, 2009

 

GAMEKEEPER TURNS POACHER

 

BAD DAY AT THE OFFICE FOR THE 2s

 

 

An overnight selection scare proved to be groundless as Jawaid dragged himself from his death bed to maintain his no.4 berth in the batting line up. Anything to avoid staying at home on a Saturday afternoon......apparently! He was later to rue his decision to rise Lazarus-like from his pit, but more of that later.

 

With the recently borrowed 3rd teamers no longer required despite back-to-back wins taking us to a vertigo-inducing second place in Division C, the 2nds had a more balanced and, in theory, stronger look. Fighter’s ‘bat first’ policy took another hit as the toss was duly won and the opposition inserted on what looked to be a firm but low and slow wicket.

 

Boro’s opening pair showed the full extent of their limited shot range – the cut, the pull and the edge through slips – as they arrived at drinks on 79-0 at a tad over 3 an over. It was not a chanceless stand with arguably the easiest chance falling to the veteran slipper, who leapt salmon-like to parry the ball upwards but, despite a forward twisting dive with pike, was unable to lay a finger on the ball as it fell to earth a good 3-4 feet in front of him. Biggun was heard to utter: “Did you hear me call that one?” as he apparently predicted a slip catch while the long-suffering Saqib was running up to bowl.

 

Saqib and Potter both bowled steadily without any luck to be replaced by Messrs Christiansen and Kirkwood when the underage openers had bowled their quota. The skipper clearly has a way to go before being impressed by a now properly shod Andy K’s bowling. After 3 relatively frugal if unexciting overs, during which 6 runs were conceded, the aforementioned was summarily removed from the attack. This move was not taken well – the disbelief almost turned into a temper tantrum as the turf was kicked and the red mist started to descend. However, it was soon forgotten as discussions about a change of pace in the bowling attack were satisfied by the introduction of our 15-year old off spinner at the football ground end.

 

It took until the 29th over to make the breakthrough as Biggun firstly had the doughty right-handed opener well held at mid on by Saqib playing a shot which was not a cut or edge and was therefore mistimed. Then in his next over he was able to extract some extra bounce to have the number 3 smartly caught behind. The third wicket pair added 46 before Kingy got his just desserts for some tidy and probing spin bowling. However, there was an element of luck in this dismissal as the ball cannoned off the batsman’s boot on to Bayls’ boot (not looking quite so new now!) and then on to the stumps. Bayls claimed the stumping (“we’ll tek ‘em”), while AK the younger was heard to send the batsman back to the pavilion with: “On your way, son” – a bit rich to someone probably twice his age.

 

Talking of stumpings, there were to be four in total including a very smart take by Bayls down the leg side standing up to the returning Saqib, who continued to bowl well without a great deal of luck. The other stumpings came off AK as he bowled through to the end. Boro’s batsmen steadily upped the run rate without it ever becoming excessive, but it took its toll on the bowling figures with Biggun’s last four overs going for 30 and Kingy’s last eight overs going for 53. However, overall their figures were very good – 2 for 56 and 4 for 69 respectively. Bayls (or is it Bails being a wicketkeeper?) claimed five victims (we’ll give him the run out off his boot!), which could have been even better if he had held on to a couple of schnicks when standing up. Boro claimed their 4th batting point off the final ball of the innings with a scrambled single to finish on 192/7. This was thought to be a par score and, with Wollaton’s batting line-up, should have been gettable.

 

And so to tea. Boro has a tradition of providing ham salads, which are met with general approval as very few clubs now offer a ‘sit down with knife and fork’ meal. Some of the younger team members were confused by having to deal with two items of cutlery simultaneously, while others, clearly not used to being confronted with healthy food, cleared the cake plate before the salads were finished. The consensus, I think, was that it was an excellent tea.

 

The afternoon went downhill from there. Boro had proved that sticking around paid dividends. Wollaton found sticking around the difficult bit! The veteran opener found Carl Whelan’s pace and hostility too much as a back foot defensive shot into the ground bounced backwards removing the off bail as it struggled to get over the stumps on the low and slow pitch. Time was called on Sunil’s 16-ball innings when the captain pushed to ball straight to cover and called for a single. Those of us who know Sunil well realise that backing up is not high on his list of priorities when at the crease. So a direct hit was always going to cause him some strife. He was sent packing without troubling the scorers. At 12 for 2 in the eighth over the warning signs were already there.

 

This was compounded when Jawaid was to be adjudged lbw first ball attempting one of his trademark leg side ‘lifts’ over midwicket. As all good batsmen do, he returned to the hutch claiming he had hit it, but there were not too many complaints. It was now that he was thinking that the stay-at-home option would have been better! At this point the nomadic Crossers strode to the crease with a point to prove. Unfortunately, the skipper did not stay long with him. Mid-wicket conferences never last long with Crossers, but we did wonder whether anything should be read into Fighter’s early departure after Crossers’ arrival at the crease (!?). Anyway, it was not clear which shot Fighter was attempting but it didn’t come off, succeeding only in skying the ball off the top edge. At 16 for 4 in the ninth the writing was on the wall.

 

At this point AK senior (Kirkwood) joined Crossers and both set about rebuilding the innings. Both batted sensibly, defending the good balls and despatching the poor ones for four over the quick outfield. By now, Wollaton’s on-field nemesis, Bryan Aplin was wheeling away from the bowling green end but, unusually, without success. That was all to change as the Kirkwood/Crossley partnership got to 62 in eight minutes under the hour when AK was undone by a ball that left him and hit off stump.

 

The rest of the innings was a procession, being memorable only for the Aplin twins bowling in tandem. Michael, part-time groundsman at HQ, provided a lesson in how to bowl straight while “doing a bit with it”, cleaning up Biggun and Potter in a spell of 2 for 13 in 6 overs. To be fair, the game was almost lost by then, but mopping up the tail (sorry John!) can sometimes prove to be troublesome and bowling straight usually does the trick. We have to hope that this ignominious defeat is a lesson learned and our trip to Plummers next week is more fruitful than our home match against the same opposition a few weeks ago. Perhaps we should give the part-time curator a full-time job, or could we then be accused of bribery?!